5 Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship With Your Surrogate — Before, During & After Pregnancy
Surrogacy is more than a medical process — it’s a relationship built on trust, empathy, and shared purpose. At Willow Roots Fertility Consulting, we see the connection between hopeful parents and surrogates as the heart of every journey.
Here are five meaningful ways to build a positive, grounded, and supportive relationship through each stage.
1. Start With Clarity & Connection (Before Pregnancy)
Before appointments, medications, and milestones begin, focus on building human connection.
Share your stories. Ask about theirs. Discuss values, expectations, communication preferences, and boundaries.
This early foundation creates trust, comfort, and emotional readiness for the journey ahead.
2. Communicate in a Way That Works for Both of You (Before & During Pregnancy)
There is no “one-size-fits-all” communication style in surrogacy.
Some intended parents love weekly check-ins. Others prefer lighter updates. Many surrogates enjoy quick messages, voice notes, or updates following appointments.
The goal is simple:
communication that feels natural, not pressured.
3. Celebrate Each Milestone Along the Way (During Pregnancy)
Surrogacy journeys are filled with meaningful moments, including:
The first positive beta
Ultrasound days
Heartbeat confirmation
Medication milestones
Lining checks
Acknowledging these moments together strengthens connection and helps both surrogate and intended parents feel emotionally supported.
4. Offer Support Without Creating Pressure (During Pregnancy)
Your surrogate is carrying something incredibly precious — while still managing their own life, career, and family.
Support should feel empowering, not overwhelming.
Ways to support without pressure:
Ask how they are feeling, not just for updates
Trust their medical team
Respect their boundaries
Offer empathy when days feel normal or hard
Kindness creates a safer, healthier journey for everyone.
5. Maintain Connection After Birth (Postpartum)
The relationship doesn’t end at delivery.
Every surrogate–parent relationship will look different, and that’s perfectly okay. Some stay close friends. Others exchange occasional updates.
What matters most is that expectations are discussed early and honoured throughout the journey.
Surrogates often think about the baby long after birth — continued connection, even in small ways, honours the experience you shared.
A Journey Rooted in Respect & Ethics
Surrogacy thrives when relationships are grounded in mutual understanding, empathy, and gratitude. At Willow Roots Fertility Consulting, we support both hopeful parents and surrogates through an ethical, transparent, and emotionally informed approach to Canadian surrogacy.
If you’re exploring surrogacy and want guidance that puts people first, Willow Roots is here to support your next steps.